Those Bananas look gross. Time to make Chocolate Chip Banana Bread.

Well aren’t you in for a treat. Two posts in two days. I know what you are thinking, no, I did not farm out my baking or blogging to someone in India. I just had bananas that needed to be consumed, and I didn’t feel like eating three bananas in one sitting. It sounds counter productive and a little crazy. And anyone who knows me is well aware I am not crazy.

I have had banana bread maybe three times in my life. They were probably all pretty good, but not nearly as good as mine, this I am sure. How do I know? I just do, alright. There is something about making it yourself that makes things that much more enjoyable. New blog idea . On second thought I am pretty sure I lack the time.

Well let us begin. I thought a banana bread recipe would be a little bit more in-depth then what I found out. Here it is in two sentences… Mix all the ingredients together. Put it in a bread pan and bake at 325 degrees for an hour. BLOG POST DONE. JK LOL

Just a sneak peek of what the end product looks like

Finished Chocolate Banana Bread Recipe. It's real nice.

And what you begin with (vodka is not a part of the recipe, kinda.)

Here is the simple recipe I conjured up out of the air…


  • 1 cup granulated sugar – the white sweet stuff.
  • 4 ounces butter, softened – melted to make easier mixing with the sugar.
  • 1 1/2 cups mashed bananas – I had three bananas, so a cup and a half might be what i put in.
  • 2 large eggs – farm fresh thanks to mooper.
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract – don’t drink this straight.
  • 2 cups all-purpose flour – I am waiting for a purpose for flour other than cooking/baking.
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder – apparently not the same ingredient as below.
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda – I hear it helps with the rising of the bread.
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt – I had 4 different salts to choose from.
  • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips – I lacked semisweet so I used milk chocolate.
I know most of you are wishing that I would continue on in my normal narrative fashion with neat quips and quotes, but I seriously can not make this recipe interesting at all. I mean I had less fun the last time the hogs ate my little brother (should be dog, not hogs). But in all seriousness, I think a duck billed platypus could probably make this chocolate chip banana bread recipe with this bill tied behind his back. I will attempt to recite the my take on the recipe in haiku form. And let the pun begin.
Cream sugar’n butter
Splice in naners, eggs, and nilla
Bananas be smashed
Fuse dry components
Spur wet and try stuff till slim
Introduce dark chips
Coat pan with butter
Pour slim into butter pan
Turn oven to right temp
Cover with tin foil
Loosely, bake for half hour
Remove that foil now
Bake till it picks clean
Remove from heat source, let sit
About 10 minutes
Disengage from pan
Rack cool until you can not wait
Slice and enjoy, yum.
If you really want instructions, then search google.
What follows below is the proof  that I created this masterpiece with my own hands, in my kitchen (with pants on), and with the skill of a crazy nastyass honey badger. For those of you who get to enjoy this tomorrow in the office, you are welcome. For those of you that would like delectable edibles, please share with me what you want and I will do my best to ship it to you. Also, share this site with your friends, family, communists, really anyone you wish to inflict pain on. I think Pinterest deserves a little
I bet that Chocolate Chip Banana Bread would be really good with milk. Vodka didn’t cut it.

3 thoughts on “Those Bananas look gross. Time to make Chocolate Chip Banana Bread.

  1. I hereby announce my protest that this site is no longer updated. I have barricaded myself in my garage and I will not eat nor drink until my demands are met. My demands are that this site be updated within a week. Oh, and I’d also like two hot blonde girls in their 20s who like garage protests and experimentation.

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